20 Fun Facebook Status Ideas

20 Fun Facebook Status Ideas

1. Follow your brain. Your heart is stupid.
2. I can’t get out of bed.
   These blankets have accepted me as one of their own and If I leave now I might lose their trust.
3. I could be locked in a room with no tv, phone, or internet access and I’d probably still not do my homework.
4. Hardest thing to answer: Describe yourself.
5. Never trust a person who doesn’t like dogs.
6. I’m a really down to earth guy because, you know, gravity.
7. Men: if your woman makes you sleep on the couch, use the cushions to build an awesome fort and then hang a “no girls allowed” sign.
8. It’s so adorable when my Mom calls and asks me for my “email number.”
9. Never assume anything but the position.
10. I like messing with Texas by calling random numbers in Houston and telling them I have a problem.
11. I’m not sure why, but to me Cheerios sound like the happiest of all circular shaped cereals.
12. Somewhere, right this minute, someone is reading this sentence.
13. Bond. Hydrogen bond.
14. I laid awake all night again worrying about why I’m always so tired.
15. To whoever said “fight fire with fire”: do you actually test your own advice before giving it?
16. Thinking about changing my name to Woo Hoo. It would be nice to have strangers cheering for me regularly
17. Yes, I realize I’m leaving early. But don’t forget, I also came in late.
18. Driving to work would be so much better if I didn’t always end up at work.
19. A great thing about being single is never having to erase your history tab.
20. When I go to your place for the first time, unless you live in a castle, please don’t ask me if I want a tour.